Normal service?

Well, the last couple of weeks have been hard. Really hard in lots of ways but I know that many of my friends have had a much tougher time. I have come to some realisations about myself. I'm afraid I am not really the sort of person who can pour out my heart through my hands via the keyboard into cyberspace. I'm aware that lots of you are and it's fine by me, I have sat at the computer this evening, reading friends' blogs, and sobbed at their heartache and my heart breaks for them but as those of you who know me well will know, I can't be serious for long. Not because I don't feel stuff, or think about important things, but because I need it interspersing with light relief: it unclogs my head and stops me drowning in indecision, or sadness or confusion.

Think of the pratting about, if you like, as some sort of emotional arm bands and the bigger the difficulties, the more armbands I need. I simply can't be eloquent about things that are really important to me, such things turn my faculties to absolute mush. It's just how I am. So I'm afraid - excuses made - (ab)normal service resumes as of whenever something happens that I want to blither on about!

So what now?

It's hard to know what to say after a weekend spent at thanksgiving services for people you wish were still around. Standing at the front looking into the faces of people who miss them even more than you do and whose lives will never be the same again. However, I now feel even more privileged to have moved in the same circles as Chris and Matt having listened to countless people sharing memories of two such wonderful people. It also reminded me that there are some jolly wonderful people still around me. So beware, if you are one of the unfortunate people I count as a friend, I fully intend to appreciate you a lot more in future (probably in a really irritating fashion) and to lavish my time, ill-conceived cookery ideas and favourite DVDs on you whether you like it or not! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

A sad week

This week the world lost two people who I was proud and privileged to consider my friends. It seems surreal to me to be writing this as I still can't really believe it. One minute they were here, the next the were gone. I feel their loss in my guts but not yet in my head. Chris and Matt were wonderful men of God, full of humility, patience, humour and well-placed irreverence. The world is a sadder place without them but heaven had better watch out. Never have I known two people capable of causing absolute mayhem whilst looking as though butter wouldn't melt! I will miss them both.

Christmas time is here again...

...at least it is according to my local Morrisons. Today, whilst enjoying this beautiful, balmy September morning, I popped in for a croissant and was amazed to discover that I could have bought not only my "Pirates of the Carribean" advent calendar but also some Lindt Reindeer and one of those fantastically huge tubes of fruit pastilles that, for some reason, only appear for the festive season. I'm not really complaining about this, it's just that sometimes it makes me feel like the walls are closing in on me a bit! It's only September!

Those of you who know me well will almost certainly be thinking what a hypocrite I am as I complain about the early onset of Christmas pressure but am always delighted when, on the 3rd of January, in amongst the reduced price crackers and battered rolls of wrapping paper I discover a packet of Cadbury's mini eggs!

However, this year as part of my life-improvement plan, I have decided that, rather than rail against this consumerist, pre-pre-Christmas pressure I will go with it... ride the wave as it were. So I will be popping back this afternoon to purchase not one, but 4 Johnny Depp advent calendars. One for September (bit of catching up to do there), October, November and finally December. Heck, why not 5 advent calendars? After all something's got to keep me going in January between Christmas and the advent of the mini eggs!

The best laid plans...

Well, having spent an hour yesterday remaking all the stuff I made on Monday but including the new child's name he arrived this morning and the meeting went as follows...



Amiable teacher: (smiling graciously despite the added workload, Mary Poppins eat your heart out) How lovely to meet you, you must be Connor!

Connor: (shaking nervously) No

Amiable teacher: Oh dear, I'm sure that's what it said on the form I received.

Not Connor: (Brightly) Connor is one of my middle names: I've got four! (smiling proudly)

Amiable teacher: (under breath thinking of all the books she has labelled) *$^£%@ (&(£*$&@"**

Needless to say I have spent yet more time today remaking all the stuff I remade yesterday which was already a rehash of the stuff I had made on Monday. I have pratically used the entire year's budget on laminating pouches because of one child (with too many names) ! I know, I have no one to blame for this but myself.

Working Girl

Well, I have survived a whole day at work and did not manage to stuff anything up, which is very good news indeed. My class were fairly lovely and quite amusing (one of them told me that the force that helps boats to float is called "upper-crust"!) I was however, quite distressed to discover that I have a new pupil starting tomorrow! I mean, what on earth is that about? Did his parents not realise until today that they had a child of school age? (He's ten!!!) Why couldn't he have started today with everyone else? Why? Why? And he's got a naughty boy's name!

I am of the opinion that having a new child in your class is every bit as scary as being the new child in the class!

Poor child, I suppose it's not really his fault his parents are disorganised. I will try to be gracious!

Time for school...

Well, that's it. The last day of the holidays has been and gone and today I had to go to actual work! I made the most of my last weekend by staying up really late last night which was pretty stupid to be honest, as I was totally cream-crackered today. Fortunately today was just for staff, so no children till tomorrow which I suppose eases you in more gently but to be honest it is more interesting when the children are there. At least my classroom looks like a real classroom now and not the hovel it resembled 6 weeks ago. THANK YOU RACHEL!

I was really saddened to hear of the death of Steve Irwin today. Whatever you may think of some of his antics I always found it really refreshing to see someone who was so passionate about his job and wasn't embarassed to show his enthusiasm in an age where it is so decidedly uncool to be enthusiastic about anything. Such enthusiasm is infectious and I personally need people like that in the world to remind me how wonderful our world is and that it is worth protecting. It saddens me to realise that loads of the kids I see every day only seem to be enthusiastic about their PS2 and how much credit they have on their phones! And as for me, I'm not even passionate about THAT!

On a lighter note (I am aware that I was verging on a "Dear Points of View..." moment then!) I had a very bourgeois pie, sorry "tartlet", from Marks and Spencers for tea. Is it just me or does goat's cheese always taste just a little bit like you would imagine a goat tastes like? Same for sheep's cheese actually. In fact maybe what I should be considering is whether cow's cheese tastes like cow but I am just so used to it I don't notice... hmm.

I may ponder that further if I can't sleep tonight.