As threatened, a poem what I wrote...

Well, strictly speaking I wrote it with my first class during what the National Literacy Strategy rather optimistically calls "Shared Writing". Those of you who have ever had anything to do with 8 year olds will appreciate that, as the poem needed to be in rhyming couplets with approximately the same number of syllables per line and to have some sort of logical story flowing through it I pretty much had to write it myself; believe me it's a classic! Hehe...

Clara Sprout

Who shouted out and died in gruesome circumstances

There was a girl called Clara Sprout
Who was forever shouting out.
Her teacher said, “Your hand must go
Up in the air so that I know
You want to speak. Oh don’t you see
You mustn’t shout out “me me me””

But night and day and day and night
She shouted “me”. It wasn’t right.
Her friends were cross. They got fed up.
“Clara Sprout will not shut up”
They whinged and moaned “We must be free
From girls who shout out “me me me” “

And then one day, it did befall
That teacher took them, one and all
Out to the zoo as a surprise.
The girls could not believe their eyes
When watching crocodiles be fed
The keeper grinned and then he said
“Who is brainy, who is sweet
Who knows what crocodiles do eat?”
From just behind a voice was heard
Cry “me me me” and on that word
The old crock pounced and with a gulp
Chewed Clara Sprout into a pulp.

The tragic tale of Clara Sprout
Must be a warning all about
The gruesome fate that may befall
a little child, short or tall.
If you don’t put your hand up high
To answer your kind teacher’s “why?”
But rather choose to shout out “me!”
You too could die in agony.

Favourite poems... as requested by Teapot

When I was in Junior school, this was my favourite poem; in fact I think my year six teacher must only have had one poetry book and that was of course "Please Mrs Buter" By Allan Ahlberg!

Please Mrs Butler

Please Mrs Butler

This boy Derek Drew

Keeps copying my work, Miss.

What shall I do?

Go and sit in the hall, dear.

Go and sit in the sink.

Take your books on the roof, my lamb.

Do whatever you think.

Please Mrs Butler

This boy Derek Drew

Keeps taking my rubber, Miss.

What shall I do?

Keep it in your hand, dear.

Hide it up your vest.

Swallow it if you like, love.

Do what you think best.

Please Mrs Butler

This boy Derek Drew

Keeps calling me rude names, Miss.

What shall I do?

Lock yourself in the cupboard, dear.

Run away to sea.

Do whatever you can, my flower.

But don't ask me!

Allan Ahlberg

I'm not really sure what we all loved about it but I think it was probably the mention of underwear in the fourth stanza! It was definitely a poem that defined my generation. What does that say about us!?!

Nowadays, of course, I have the privilege of being in a job which means I have to read poems regularly. A few years back I had a year 1 class (a noisy rabble of five and six year olds; some of whom will, next year, be my noisy rabble of ten and eleven year olds) and this was their favourite poem. They used to say it at the tops of their voices with such great facial expressions. Hmm I wonder if they still remember it...

Oh Soggy Greens

Oh, soggy greens I hate you,

I hate your sloppy slush,

And if my mum would let me,

I'd throw you in a bush.

Oh, apple pie I love you,

I love your crunchy crust,

And if my mum would let me,

I'd eat you till I bust.

John Cunliffe (who also created Postman Pat!)

Goodness I could go on and on. Viv, you have opened a floodgate! I may have to add some more at a later date but just one more before I go, which is one of my current class's favourites, Jabberwocky. As they are completely bonkers themselves, this poem makes complete sense to them. Click on the link below where you can not only read it in "English" but translated into many other languages - fascinating!

Doh! It was glorious sunshine when I sat down to do this and now it is raining torrentially. It seems that, yet again, I have missed the daily, five-minute lawn-mowing window of opportunity.

Evidence that my class really have lost it...

Overheard today. One ten year old boy to another.

"Have you ever thought what it must be like to be in Girls Aloud?"

Honestly, I ask you...
Three more tests to go.